Yesterday was my five year MSiverssary. It came and went. But not without incident. Every year since my diagnosis the week after Thanksgiving has brought out my weakness. On my one year anniversary I had just completed five days of IV steroids. Each year it’s been something new. This year it’s an upper respiratory infection.
I scheduled my acupunture appointment for yesterday. I knew if nothing else, it’d be my treat for the day. At lunch time I roamed around TJ Maxx, and I bought myself a new wallet. When I was in the store I’d forgotten about the verssary, but when I felt guilty about my purchase, I remembered. It was my day. I deserved a treat.
My ex-boyfriend called. We keep in touch over Facebook, and we talk now and again on the phone. When I heard his voicemail I was surprised, not that he’d called, but that he’d called on that day. But he hadn’t remembered. It was purely a coincidence, he said.
My family I’m sure remembers the season. Especially my mom. I was moving out of my apartment with my best friend Kelly. I was moving into my parents’ to wait for my now-ex to return from Japan. Well, we know how that worked out…
They remember that it was December, I’m sure. I was sick through Christmas that year; I did all of my shopping online. I ate as many Christmas cookies as I damn well pleased. I gained 10 pounds, maybe more from the steroids and cookies. It was the last time that I saw my ex.
I wish that I could say I’m healed. But that’s the thing … I’m not. I’d like to think I’m healing. I am sure that acupuncture is my closest ally. But yesterday even that ended badly. You see, I was so light headed I could barely drive home. My to buy list consided of: a pot to clean my nose with salt water, coconut water for electrolytes, a pear to bake with honey for my cough, chicken soup, and an onion. No joke – an onion for my stuffed up right ear. I love the list. That alone was the highlight of my day.
My ex hadn’t remembered, my family hadn’t, friends hadn’t. My hubby knew, but only because I told him and reminded him. But he didn’t get me flowers or write me a poem. He did buy the items on my list, minus the pear and onion, which I’d forgotten in the cloud of my post-acupuncture daze.
I skipped pool, and I stayed home to rest. I was fine with it until suddenly I wasn’t. It’s almost like forgetting a birthday, because I became a new me that day.
I’m not sure how I expect those who love me to acknowledge the day. I guess if I got cards and gifts and a cake, that would help. Flowers seem a bit wrong for the occassion. But gifts, yes. Cards, yes. Congratulations, fuck yeah. But I’ll skip the Christmas cookies and steroids this year.